Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
