i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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