you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize