sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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