Jerry, you need to find god
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When are your genitals available?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
