I didn't shave. On purpose
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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