hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize