drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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