wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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