At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
