Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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