I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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