Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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