Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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