Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
