Dude my mom stole all your condoms
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
