She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
