You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize