You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
