I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
