i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
