For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
