Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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