just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
