So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
