I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
