I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
