too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
