she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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