Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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