We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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