Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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