i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
