Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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