in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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