I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
