Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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