He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize