am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
