going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
