Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We left an ass print on the piano.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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