Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
