is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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