so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
