the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
