great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
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I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize