Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
