discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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