I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
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I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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