Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
