So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize