woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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