I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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