Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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