Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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