Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
