i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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