He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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