ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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