Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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