I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
