She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
