I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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