Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize