Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
