I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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