Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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