you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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