i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
